so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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