If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
