i may or may not be watching the land before time
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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