if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
