i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
