he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
