Tell her she can't have a vagina
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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