I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
