every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I seem to have left my pride at pride
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
