You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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