So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
