I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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