he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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