bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
