you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
