so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
