Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
