Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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