p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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