They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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