You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
