The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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