Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
