Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
