that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
ttyl tear gas
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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