Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
