I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
