Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
