Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
