the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
