So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
