What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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