yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
