I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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