We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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