There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
