please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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