I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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