That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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