Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
