College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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