he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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