she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
