Your tits are I can't wait for
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We just shotgunned beers for America
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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