as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
