I am spending my child support on dildos
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
