Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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