Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Randomize
