i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
