so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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