I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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