I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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