Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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