So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
