we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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