it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
