good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
