So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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